don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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