Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
