When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize
