Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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