'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
