i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
