You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
