It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
