You work out of a Hotel?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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