Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Let's get the cat blown out
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
