If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
is it fun? or sober?
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