Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
