So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
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