u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
