still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize