i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize