that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
