Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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