Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
