i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
