I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
