I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
