We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
