I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
