I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I can text with my tongue
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
