Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
