tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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