It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
You made out with two different species that night
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
