weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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