you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Randomize
