I just cut my nipple shaving
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
