ugly people sure do ruin things
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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