God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
