Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
