we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Just cropdusted the office
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
