After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
