i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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