Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
