I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
