butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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