ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
