No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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