Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
