The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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