I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
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