We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
