evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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