i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
