Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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