Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
