I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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