Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
